is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
