She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
