Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize