the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
