the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
