What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
