I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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