i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just pee around me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
