You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
