Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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