if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
