I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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