I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
