one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
