I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
