Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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