Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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