JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
