I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
