I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
time to smoke my breakfast
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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