Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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