U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
