she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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