Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize