just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
