We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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