if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
