I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You were trust falling into bushes
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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