I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
