i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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