heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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