if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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