Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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