if you like me you must not know who I am
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
