I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
