I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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