dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
