i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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