Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
