I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
