this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize