thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
