went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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