so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
two words: eviction party
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
