I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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