Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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