I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
