I looked at my own cervix.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
