fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
