And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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