evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
