you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
