My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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