My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
