erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
