just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Be still, my beating vagina.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have post one night stand depression
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
