Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
