there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
