Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
