Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
