Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
