Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Small penises have feelings too.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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