Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
