Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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